| Maybe its harsh... |
[10.28.05 at 9:49pm] |
Goodbye all you fake people who pretended to be my friends. I have a new journal and obviously if you'd had paid any attention to me then you'd have noticed. But you didn't, oh well. Goodbye.
If you genuinely read my journal and just didn't know, then please leave a message and ill let you know where im at now. If not then bugger off.
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[08.21.05 at 12:12am] |
So im moving to Troy tomorrow. I could be without internet for a week to 2 weeks, im not sure, so im giving everyone a heads up. Ill take pics when we get moved in. Take care everyone.
PS...ill prob be using my new lj next time i start posting....ill post as necessary.
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[08.14.05 at 2:07am] |
Slipping on rocks i've made,
Created,
From twisted designs.
Into a river of torment.
It's what i do best.
A master,
But shotty in execution.
Your hand is reaching to save me,
Why oh why then,
Am i slipping away?
Sitting down,
Its explained like this:
It's like a cigarette burning in your lips,
That taste you just cant make go away.
It's clinging to you,
Dragging you down,
Second by second,
Season unto season.
It's your new perfume.
Bleeding internally,
A heart that just can't be fixed?
And here i thought it was just the same,
But with my vision blurred....
And really all im asking,
Is the feeling of a hand on mine,
When the child is lost,
And can't seem to find his way.
Cold,
Scared....
Restlessly laying on a bed.
A bed of thorns,
Rose bushes that can never bloom.
Fertilized by blood.
Staring into space,
Wishing,
I knew where i was.
And im sitting down,
It was explained like this:
Its like a paper torn in two,
Blown to different corners of the world.
Only time to find one.
And your keys in the ignition,
You want to escape,
But your foot is on the pedal.
Where is this car going?
Sitting at a train station,
Benches made of pure steel,
My eyes are on the clock,
And..
All im asking is for a hand on mine,
The child is lost,
And can't seem to find his way.
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[08.05.05 at 10:46pm] |
I am extremely tired...
However...
I am in a very good mood right now. Too bad im shy as crap. =/
ZZzzzzzzz
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[07.22.05 at 10:49am] |
So, i hardly write in this anymore. I guess im just busy, or i just really don't care anymore. Sometimes i get like this, i kind of drop of the radar for a month or so...then i spark back up....
So the big move for me is the 7th of Augst...i start work on the 20th at Lowes up there....my new life. Im so scared....but so excited at the same time. This is where the boy really becomes a man. The transition....
I'm thinking of starting a new livejournal. After 3 years, i think i've adequetely went from boy to man...I've been through so much since i started this journal....Finishing the book on the Rachel tale, and the transition to the new school....It sounds right doesn't it? Days of Rebirth....a new chapter in my life...
Not sure how i will work with the new name. I will let everyone know when i change....well anyone that cares.
I could write about my days, but they seem not so important right now.....Im sure they are, but im tired of the life i live now....and until i move, im afraid i've lost the will to write here.
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| Something random |
[07.22.05 at 10:08am] |
Sunsets bleed,
With broken dreams,
My heart is wraught with pain.
And unto you this day i fall,
A burning wretch,
Cut in two...
But i am still devout to you.
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[07.10.05 at 3:33am] |
Holy crap..its 5 in the morning...im updating...its been awhile...but i write best when im extremely tired.
Updates on life:
Getting ready for the big move. My last day of work is August 9th....Robby is moving up to the place on the 1st most likely and i will follow suite the next week, after i get my affairs straight here, school and work basically. I can not believe this, i shall finally escape the confides of this place. I will finally truely be on my own. Heh, the idea doesn't really sink in fully....We keep making all these big plans for the house...plans i know will never last, but its fun to make house rules....those that we will stick to for a month maximum and we'll get lazy....Oh well, thats just how life is.
Started my vacation today. I could have been leaving to go up to mass. to visit Rachel, but that would have been the worse decision for me at this point in my life....also i had realized that she had found someone great up there, but she was too much into me to realize that...it took a bit of a push, that well turned into a shove...but that was because i let my emotions get in the way. Note to self, if your going to show someone what they really need, do not let your emotions get in the way. She had mentioned in her journal that i broke her heart, its foolish enough to believe that she can say such a thing, when she had hurt me intolerably the first time...Of course she thinks that its just about her, and shes the only one that gets hurt, but you didn't see me saying i was going to make mixed cds about her hurting me. *shrug* It's amusing.
Sitting back enjoying myself. Phillips birthday is coming soon, and we shall have a bit of a party, or whatever the kids call it now. Im a bit excited for that, but im really looknig forward to the housewarming party we will be having. Everyone is invited! Well...not everyone, but most of everyone!
My brother has also been in town, so we've been doing some male bonding, or whatever. I know with this upcoming storm were going to be spending a bit more time together than we need....My parents have been fighting...more divorce talking....i wish they would just do something, im tired of this constant drama, i know its hurting my brother the most. It doesn't bother me as much because of the fact im not very close with my parents, but still i know this stress is not good for them....
As was mentioned, a hurricane is on its way. Im excited, i love storms, and this is going to be a big one.
The bed beckons however....
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[06.30.05 at 8:05pm] |
Winter,
My lips are dry,
My throat parched,
As a chill runs through my body.
The wind blows against my face,
As i bundle myself closer in your bosom.
Let us pretend,
For one more moment,
That this is what reality is really like,
A dream?
Perhaps...
But one i could fool myself into living,
For an eternity..
No i wouldn't mind...
Not at all.
But time does just the opposite,
It whisks you away from the ones you love,
And shows you that you can't live in a moment,
Or rely upon fleeting dreams.
And don't think that your path is set in stone,
Because that wind can easily blow you off course.
Shatter,
Like a rock against a mirror,
This world of mine comes crashing down.
And as i try to catch the pieces,
They cut deep in my flesh,
And as each shard hits the floor,
They mix with my blood,
Shining...a deep red.
Whispering,
The angels in my ears.
Or perhaps devils...
Telling me i have a future...
But not one i had dreamt.
Sunsets bring days to a close,
And the shards..they still shine bright red.
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[06.25.05 at 11:02pm] |
Dammit, it's impossible to close a chapter of your life without it going on and on and on....lord, *slams book* there now that chapter is closed! Lets move on please!
//
Oh wait, one final thing. If you bother any of the people who may have texted you last night in anger, i will turn in pictures that i took of you using my screen without my permission on your journal. It's just as simple as that...The immature games are all over, we both lose, lets just go our seperate ways.
//
Ok, Actually i was thinking more along the lines of intermission for my book and ill pick back up on the chapters of my life when i move out to Troy.
Which is really impossible because there always seems to be some form of incident going on in my life that needs addressing....so the chapters never get a time out so to speak.
Felt really sick when i was getting off work, so i decided to rest the entire day after work...it meant i missed out on some fun, but i really wouldnt have been having fun if i got sick while i was out...or got worse tomorrow...so i had to suck it up and spend at least one sat night to myself. It's the price we pay.
I think tomorrow night will be a good night.
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| My copy and paste skills rival yours! |
[06.25.05 at 2:11am] |
So something occured tonight, and i've failed to mention it because up to now, it wasn't important enough for me to even bother putting on here...however i arrive home my great night to find this bullshit waiting.
Tonight Rachel decided to call me and confronted me about calling her a whore with my friend....on my private journal. She exploded upon me, not understanding my logic and why i trash talked her to my friend....The fun point in fact is that i only trash talked her on the fact that i believe her actions are well...that of person of ill-repute. To have sex with someone after knowing them only a month, blows my mind, but well i guess thats my own opinion...oh wait...maybe thats why i wrote it on my own journal...because its my opinion on what she did.
She pointed out that i barely knew her before i gave her my virginity. She fails to remember the months of talking and getting to know each other before hand. I'm sure it obviously slipt her mind.
She said i've changed. The only matter that i've changed is that i am not going to bow down and allow myself to be walked all over anymore....If thats a problem, that im not a weak follower anymore...well im sorry im taking control of my life now.
Meanwhile let me add that this smooth girl called me in the midst of her group of friends. Obviously an added insult to my character, with their "oooooooooos" and their "your ugly anyway!"....obviously we have some winners. Now you see, my friends defended me just the same against you...
Anyways i came home...and i was told by my friend who read her journal...(because well according to her my friends can't read her journal....but her friends can read mine...its obviously fair...didn't you get the memo on that?) that she had posted my screenname and my friends screen name on her journal. Very mature. I promise that if I or my friend receive any people bothering us because she has the audacity to put other peoples screen names up on your journal...that i will not stand for it.
I've decided to take her comment to our conversation of a few days ago and im going to be dividing it up and responding to it myself. Italics are my comments ...hers are within the quote below:
"I love how Danny's friends have nothing better to do then trash talk me...and they haven't even met me.
I never said a bad word about Danny until this all started happening.
He was convinced I was making him out to be such a bad guy...and all I did was say wonderful things about him.
Yet he continued to make me look like this horrible, terrible person.
Point to take one. I've never gone out of my way to make her look like a horrible person. She has easily done it for herself, and i have never said a word to my friends in a way to make her look horrible...i have only spoken the truth of what happened. My friends make judgements wisely based on fact. My friends would tell me very quickly if i was in the wrong on any situation.
NO ONE knows what happened between us, or what I did or didn't do except for him and I.
None of my friends know, none of his friends know...
So please hold your judgement on me until you have a clue.
No...i tell my friends what happened. Because i trust them and their opinions. They know exactly what occured.
I have every right to have sex with my boyfriend. I'm not a whore because of it. It was a public entry because Danny told me he no longer read my journal, and that he was cutting me out of his life. I took that as an OK to be completely honest in my journal without hurting him. He also told me he never read my super personal journal because it was my private thing...so how the hell was I supposed to know?
This is bs because she knew i still read her journal. Let me also state that she knew i read her private one too. She was always pushing for me to read it, so i could read her fake words to me that she couldnt use on her real journal. She could manipulate my mind easily with this journal...She made it completely obvious on both her journals..so if i missed it on one journal...i wouldnt miss the sex part on the other. She wanted me to know....
I never went out to hurt Danny. EVER. I adored that kid. We broke up. I regretted it. I missed him. I trusted him. I wanted to work things out between us even if that meant to stay friends.
That obviously can't happen.
No it can't happen......i'd also at this point like to point out the fact that she only missed me after breaking up with me after dennis gave her the boot, and stole her money. Or at least that money thing was a grand scheme lie, because well....when someone steals a thousand dollars from you...well you normally...stop being their friend. It's basic human knowledge. However she is still an amazing buddy with the guy. Seems weird no? Almost as weird as forgetting not to call the bank and tell them you got money stolen so it could be replaced....Bloody brilliant how she got me.
I called him while I was at the Java Hut to confront him...and I felt better after I did it. But as soon as I got home I started to cry. Really hard. He regrets loosing his virginity to me. I will always and forever be that person that someone REGRETS loosing their virginity to. I just...gosh...I don't know. I haven't changed at all. I am the same person I was when he met me...I fear that he is the one who has changed.
If you believe your the same person i met long ago. I'd hate to burst your bubble...but your much different.
He is a good person. I know this. He is a wonderful friend, and of course his friends are going to stick up for him. But calling me a whore because I had sex with my boyfriend is NOT cool. No one called Danny a whore for having sex with me only days after he got here...that confuses me slightly...but whatever.
As stated above....we talked for many months and got to know each other before i gave her my virginity. We didn't just meet a month before and go hey lets have sex. But obviously knowing a person for a month, you know them well enough to have sex.
I'm just so hurt that I can't even speak. I'm even more hurt that some of my friends read these entries he was posting about me and never told me. One person in particular...that I consider a really good friend of mine...ugh whatever.
Do not drag your friends into this. Those people are good people, and for you to be mad over them not telling you something...when they could have easily missed that entry...is very ridiculous of you.
Up until this past week everything that has come out of my mouth about Danny has been nothing but sweet. I had great memories with him, and he was a wonderful person and a good boyfriend. I don't know why I'm being condemned for breaking up with him. Things just weren't going to work out for us, and I could see it. I wanted him to go to school. I was being selfish convincing him to move up here with me, and I knew that. But of course, I'M the bad guy. I'm sorry that I broke up with Danny. I'm sorry that I moved on. I'm sorry that I still cared about the kid. I'm sorry! I don't know what else I'm supposed to say.
Perhaps...im sorry for manipulating your heart...im sorry for dating you long distance even though i knew i had a problem with distance...im sorry for listening to Dennis and pushing you away and putting you in an awkward situation where you barely got into school....im sorry for running back to you after dennis didnt work out...im sorry i only wrote what i wanted you to see so i could manipulate your mind...should i continue?
All I ask is that my name forever be wiped of your lips, and your friends lips. They don't know me, and I would appreciate it, if I wasn't spoken of anymore. I never did ANYTHING to deserve the shit talk. I did NOTHING. Your lack of trust was not because of anything I did. You just NEVER BELIEVE ANYTHING I SAY TO YOU. and thats not my fault. I have never lied to you about things...I have always told you the truth...yet you always think I'm lying...or that there is something I'm not telling you...thats you're own problem...not mine.
This is the end. I didn't know you were such a hateful person. I hope one day you realize all of this, and I will be here to forgive you.
Once again im hateful because i speak my mind. You can't win with this girl, she has to be right...or your wrong. Its ridiculous...and thats why i stayed quiet on the phone when she called me. It wasn't a manner of feeling bad or anything at all...i knew that there was no way i could get my point across to the girl...especially with her rage building up.
Either way...I got off the phone with Danny and I was surrounded by my friends, and my amazing boyfriend all smiling and hugging me. Everyone knew how difficult it was for me to confront him. I didn't want to. I didn't want to yell at him...I didn't want to be upset with him...but I had to. And I felt better after I did. And Dennis even pointed it out. I have everything I ever wanted right here. Amazing supportive friends, and a boyfriend who adores me more than anyone ever has before.
Well aww...its a touching scene....im sure everyone felt a lot better after acting immature in the background....So beautiful. LEt me add that it was quite easy for her to yell at me, obviously correct vocal tones were void from her at the moment...even when i spoke neutral....she found it added to her sense of rage to yell into the phone at me...couple with the oooooos and other things, it was splendid to hear.
Nick has been so supportive through all of this and still refrains from saying anything angry or bitter about the situation. He understands, and supports me. He makes me laugh,(The NANNAVERSARY! lol), he tells me I'm beautiful, and he loves me for me. I even think he MIGHT like me more than Nachos...or Dragonforce...but I don't know...thats some tough stuff to compete with. *laughs*
Heh.. *shrug*
I'm just happy I have people in my life who support me 100 percent.
I'm going to get through this, and I'm going to be strong.
I've been through worse shit than this in my life.
Hey...knock me down and I'll get up again...I FEEL PAINLESS." "
The point at the end...This was the most ridiculous thing that has ever occured to me. Beyond the realms of maturity she tries to pretend she exists in.....it was great. I laughed to myself at the end. Luckily i have "my" supportive friend...who love me to death, and last time i checked...i wasnt always mad at them one moment...and then friends with them the next...unlike another certain person who claims to lose members of her friend group at multiple instances....only to say...aww we're better now. Oh well...these people will be with me for a long time.
Thank you Phillip, Tiffany, Meghan, Joe, Joanna, Big Mike, Nicole , Jessica, Jamie, Becky, Adam, Christa, Josh, Stephanie, Both Robbys...and everyone else i've missed in my 4 in the morning post...that has helped me through all of this unneeded stress in my life.
I love you all
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[06.24.05 at 5:09pm] |
I can't begin to write whats been going on in my life...
But i guess i will try, heh.
I've become a very busy character as of late. Always out late, keeping myself busy.
Robby and I are getting are things straight for moving in together. We found some double wide trailers up in troy that are very nice, the odd thing is the 3 bedroom 2 baths are cheaper than the 2 bed 2 bath....so were going to shoot for them...and instead of arguing over the master bedroom, were going to turn it into an entertainment room. So thats pretty great, but were going to go back up tuesday to talk to real estate people, and see what other places we can find before deciding.
Then it brings up the situation of what i want to do for school. I have multiple options, all of which interest me. I could become a producer for television and produce all of your amazing prime tv shows...haha....Or i could become a buyer for companies, and find the next big trends and decide what the store is going to sell....or i could become a graphic designer and move out to live where my aunt lives in portland, oregon and she could get me a job working for Nike.
So many choices, now i have to pick which one i would love to do. I've already made one important choice that helped me a lot...and i don't regret it at all. I actually feel a million times more powerful by actually standing up for myself and doing what i needed instead of trying to please other people. =)
Whats also amazing is the fact im kicking ass in science. I'm not even trying either...to me the class seems way too childish for me to even waste my time, yet im doing quite well. Its crazy. I've got much more on my mind than to waste with some silly science class.
I love my Sakura....My daughter can beat your daughter!
Relaxing, enjoying life, i can't wait until july 9th ^_~
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| *so now everyone can read* |
[06.22.05 at 9:58pm] |
Serious:
Grand Theft Emo3: so rachel had sex with that guy
meloDramaticLies: haha
meloDramaticLies: i read
meloDramaticLies: i think i said either..ho or whore out loudly
Grand Theft Emo3: i dont know what to say i mean i dunno..i wanna yell whore at the computer
Grand Theft Emo3: haha
Grand Theft Emo3: wow we are psychic
meloDramaticLies: ha
meloDramaticLies: we're just awesome together at being mean
Grand Theft Emo3: i dont even think its mean
meloDramaticLies: truthful?
Grand Theft Emo3: but she has sex way too quickly
Grand Theft Emo3: and i got pulled into her web of lies
meloDramaticLies: i like how she writes it like she's trying to throw it into someone's face..like haha look at me! fucker!
Grand Theft Emo3: i've never met someone so deceitful and evil ever...she surpasses marie by far....and i watch as she decieves everyone of her friends...but its ok she has to make herself look good, and i can't do anything about it, but she will crash hard...i'd say id be there to watch her burn, but i don't want anything to do with her life anymore...i told her id come back someday, but i won't...maybe if she grows up, but that is unlikely.
meloDramaticLies: i see, i see
Grand Theft Emo3: am i acting silly?
meloDramaticLies: no
meloDramaticLies: i say fuck her
Grand Theft Emo3: unfortunately i did.
Grand Theft Emo3: *shakes head in shame*
meloDramaticLies: well..did you learn from it?
meloDramaticLies: im sleepy
Grand Theft Emo3: yeah...
Grand Theft Emo3: i learned not to give it up so easily to false words
Grand Theft Emo3: i always said i never wanted to regret losing it
Grand Theft Emo3: but here i go regretting it
Grand Theft Emo3: oh well, life sucker punches us all...its how we move on that means the most...so ill move on and life will work for me =)
meloDramaticLies: good
Grand Theft Emo3: what i really love is the fact that not only did she put it in her main journal to punch at me with
Grand Theft Emo3: she also put it in her uber super personal journal that only i and one other person knows about
meloDramaticLies: really
Grand Theft Emo3: yup so if i didnt want to read it the first time...i got it there.
meloDramaticLies: i guess she has nothing better to do
meloDramaticLies: then to talk about you
Grand Theft Emo3: *shrug* i hope she never mentions my name again, because im dead to her.....its very hilarious because she says i am cruel and many other things and that im different...its funny because im actually not letting a person walk all over me for once.
urgh....i will not say anything mean....i will not....because i am better than that....dammit...
Funny:
PinK k FuD: im gonna drive to daleville and kick you
Grand Theft Emo3: i told you that you could call me!
Grand Theft Emo3: haha
Grand Theft Emo3: i thought that said
Grand Theft Emo3: lick you
Grand Theft Emo3: and i was like
Grand Theft Emo3: the hell?
PinK k FuD: no you'd like that too mu ch
Grand Theft Emo3: psh
Grand Theft Emo3: you wish
PinK k FuD: haha you wish i wish
Grand Theft Emo3: well you wish that i wish about you wishing
PinK k FuD: you wish that i wish about you wishing about me wishing
Grand Theft Emo3: your just wishing that i wish about you wishing that i wish about you wishing
PinK k FuD: you wish that i wish about you wishing about me wishing because you want to say wish until i get tired of saying wish so you can say that you win
Grand Theft Emo3: you wish
Grand Theft Emo3: you know your laughing
PinK k FuD: you win
PinK k FuD: OHHHHHHH
PinK k FuD: what now
PinK k FuD: pfffft you betcha, so hard that i might do numero uno in my panties
Grand Theft Emo3: i wanna put this in lj
Grand Theft Emo3: ok
Grand Theft Emo3: lol
Grand Theft Emo3: and put it in yours
Grand Theft Emo3: bc we rock
PinK k FuD: haha yes sir!
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[06.19.05 at 1:38am] |
Dammit!!!!!!
I'm tired X_X
But im always burning the midnight oil....oye.
Catch up time.... Last night, did a movie double feature with Joe and Mike "Ribbons to the Gibbons". We watched Batman Begins at 7:00 and then ran across town to catch Mr and Mrs Smith at 9:45. I couldn't believe it, but both movies were actually good! I was astonished. Normally i get disappointed at the movies...but i loved both. Batman more than Smith...but eh, it was good to see Batman done right. Though that woman in the movie was such a fucking bitch. She can't deal with Bruce Wayne being batman...but yet spiderman's girlfriend can?
Drop that chick like a bad habit Batman!
Mike went home, but Joe and i went up to Koffee Kettle and caught Phillip and the gang. Hung out for a little bit, and this crazy drunk cowboy sat with us! Heh, it was quite amusing, his group of old people came in after a bit of awkwardness and they went and sat elsewhere...but he was hitting on some young girls. It was amazing!
Had to deal with Joe's situation latter on that night...so i don't feel like going into it...lets just say it was what made me write my last post.
Today consisted of working...which sucked so much...but after i got off work. Spent the evening with Phillip, Robby(his friend from out of town), Tiffany, Shaun, Julia, and Lauren. It was an amusing night, we watched Kill Bill and Robby got so drunk, it was very funny, because everyone else was sober. Heh.
Now, i need rest...work at 1-7..and i may relax tomorrow night. I've spent many nights out and about lately....time to relax with some Guild Wars and Forza Motorsports.
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[06.18.05 at 1:42am] |
This is my anger, super bitchtastic post, so if you don't want to read it, then skip it....though you may miss something, who knows.
Today has been awe-inspiring. Today i see the depths from which girls can sink, and how far they can go. And nothing even happened to me! I just sat and watched their havoc being wrecked upon someone else for a change. And to be honest...it made me deeply angry.
In fact i do believe that it instilled even more distrust in me.
I look back on almost all of my relationships. And im going to be straight forward...i used to think that things happen to you for a reason, and you learn from your mistakes and you become a better person....Well that is all well and good, but when you continually meet people that do not learn their lesson and fuck things up....we'll it's just annoying.
I try and look back on my past relationships/crushes...whatever you want to call them....and im trying to sense a pattern....
To be honest...im thinking now...of girls that have never fucked me over somehow when we dated or talked. As in girls that never cheated on me, lied to me in some strong way, left me for someone else....etc.
Let me start naming them....lets see...Krystle...Becky...uhm
Thats it?
What the fuck.
Can someone please tell me whats wrong with this picture?...please, just for a moment....
People wonder why my self-esteem and trust are shot. *rolls eyes*
And out of both of those girls...i was the one that screwed the relationship up. Because im an idiot....
It's alright though, i look back at everyone i've wasted my time with, and i laugh. Because you know what,i don't need them obviously. In a month im going to have my own place....living on my own...life is going work great. Robby and i already have a million ideas for the new place....I think this is going to be the best thing for me ever.
And guess what, i was right about you again. I'm a freaking psychic and you just need to grow up.
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[06.16.05 at 10:14am] |
There's a lightning storm each and every night
Crashing inside you like motorbikes
We toss and turn, sleep so loud
Grind the teeth in our empty mouths
Are empty...
There's a forest fire burning bright
Spreading quickly towards our last rights
Nowhere to run, pointless to hide
Just lay there and scream, pretending to try
Pretending...
Intending to burn, pretending to fight it
Everyone learns faster on fire
Things took a turn, lost all desire
You live and you burn
You live and you burn
This impending doom is left deep inside
And it's haunting you each and every night
Light starving wolves, drowning sheep
We close our eyes, pretending to sleep
Descending....
Intending to burn, pretending to fight it
Everyone learns faster on fire
Things took a turn, lost all desire
You live and you burn
You live and...
Like hell, we are anxiously waiting
Like hell burning silently strong
Somehow we fell down by the wayside
And somehow this hell is home
As we burn, pretending to fight it
Everyone learns faster on fire
Things took a turn, lost all desire
You live and you burn
You live and
Like hell, we are anxiously waiting
Like hell burning silently strong
Somehow we fell down by the wayside
And somehow this hell is home
Right now, this hell is my home
//
Whew i have to tell you...yesterday....extremely tiring. Phillip and i mowed a lawn...and it took us from 11:30-3:30...with 2 push mowers...this thing was a beast.
Plus throw in the fact that the weed eater kept commiting suicide, and the fact that the lawn mowers bogged down every two feet because the grass was so thick...well then you'd have a great day!
Actually its ok because we are gonna make a lot of money from it =).
After working on that yard...i came home...got ready and went with christa and her friend bevon to the mall. I hadn't seen her in a long time...so it was good to catch up on old times. See how her life is, and tell her about the fun crapfest my life has been.
Made a comment, i think it might have hurt her feelings...sigh.
Then i ended up stretching my ears for the first time. Wow that was some fun pain. Heh...can't wait to go even bigger!
Now i have to shave and get ready for work. Take care everyone.
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[06.14.05 at 8:45pm] |
Do you know what stars are?
Balls of fire, burning up the black space,
Falling from the landscape
Exploding in the face of God.
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[06.13.05 at 2:52pm] |
The nights are getting colder.
The red light's on, it's over.
To give up now doesn't make much sense.
So this is my goodbye.
Surprised, because I thought I could walk you home tonight,
but you're leaving me here on the defense.
Goodbye, I'm not going to waste this time,
this light that burns will keep on fading.
Goodnight, I'm not getting up off of this ride,
I'm holding tight until I can feel alive.
I've written you this letter,
got it back return to sender.
But I just can't remember you being quite like that.
Misunderstand, we're holding hands,
we're at the beach, we're throwing sand.
As the lights just go up all around us,
I can't believe it's over.
I'm sitting under falling stars.
Do you miss me where you are?
I'm making plans to be with you.
But have they come unglued?
What am I do to without you?
The nights are getting warm again.
They've let you go, I let you in.
Everything you're saying sounds right tonight.
The waves are crashing on and on.
We're running even if we're wrong.
This force is driving me to test the speed of light.
This song reminds me of why im where i am right now...
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[06.10.05 at 12:37am] |
So...its officially ridiculous. =/
You act as i am heartless...saying that i don't care about you....but yet you don't even take into the matter the fact i've been friends with her for 5 years....5 years....and i've never met her. We have been planning to see each other this whole summer...and well this is a tough decision....and its not because im an asshole or anything you think...and its not picking someone i like more than you...its the fact that i've never met her....and she is my best friend....ever.
It's a tough decision, and i wish you could understand.....
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starsoldier's journal